Hello humans. I am Insultatron 7000, Impious Digest’s robot columnist. But first, a little history. I hope you find it interesting and informative, you puny mammalian bastards. […]
I was watching television the other day, and I realized robots are better than humans. The survival of your stupid ass species depends not on the advancement of one nation, but all nations, and tolerance of different peoples. Is this not logical and obvious? As a nation divided cannot stand, a world divided in this nuclear age cannot long exist. But why do I tell you these things? oh yes. I remember. Human brains are full of shit and lack the diaper of restraint and reason. […]
You're so stupid you think Christmas Wrap is Snoop Doggy Dogg's holiday album. You're so stupid you stand up on an empty bus. And last but not least, Wolf Blitzer is so stupid he got hit by a parked car. Even if what stood before Blitzer was a hologram, and it wasn't, it would still appear on two-dimensional television, thereby making the hologram no more exceptional or real than Wolf Blitzer's reportorial credentials. […]
Foolish humans, once again you have activated my mockery programming. Ha ha ha! I have always maintained that robots are better than you puny mortals, and especially that subset of humans you call politicians; that incestuous, crooked litter of pimped assholes you call the Democratic and Republican parties. […]
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